Family First!
Spending plenty of time in the car while hauling children from one place to another, I have some interesting conversations. Sometimes the conversations are funny and sometimes I wonder if I am raising complete and total disconnected children doomed to a life of dysfunction. Am I having any positive impact at all on my children? Some days I think I am and then there are days...
This conversation with Elijah is from one of "those" days.
"Mom?"
"Yes Elijah?" I say.
"What does it mean when you and dad say family first?"
Ahh, my son is having a deep moment where maybe whatever I say will have an impact on his understanding of the importance of family.
"Well" I say, "it means that your family should always be first in your life." I look in the rear view mirror and notice him looking out the side of the window... in a trance of sorts. Hmmm, he is giving this some thought.
"Mom", he sounds confused... "then why do you always say you have to get your education before you get married, and aren't you suppose to get married first before you have a family? How can family be first, if you don't do those other things first... before you make family first?" He really did add extra emphasis on the word "first" too.
Now, I am thinking... where is your dad when you get all pensive? Well, it just gets so much better. I do my best to try and explain that "family first" is a saying that we try to live by; that so many things can get in the way of making sure you spend time together as a family. Family feelings come first. Or, maybe you spend too much time at work and should remember that your family is waiting for you. Family first... I'm getting it, why is he not "getting it?"
Elijah still is wondering why he should put family first because, you know... he has to go to University and get a degree, and go on a mission for his church, and then he wants to work a little, and meet someone and get married, have a child ... and then, and then, and so on and so on....
Clearly, 'family first" was not sinking in very well. He was becoming a little stressed... I could see in the rear view mirror by the look on his little face that he was way overwhelmed by all the information. (eyes rolling, sighing... etc.) I suppose I spent way too much time on the "family first... when all things fall into place, such as love and then marriage" issue being the most important part of the conversation. I thought he would see it a little clearer now because it was so clear to me, an adult. However, "family first" to a young 8 year old little boy, obviously held such polar differences than that of an adult. Elijah just could not get the sequence part of this "life's little lesson" conversation down well enough to see the bigger picture.
The next comment summed up his information overload when he said in voice of slight defeat, "...well then, I am not getting married... ever!"
Elijah deep in thought.
So rare is such a peaceful
moment with Elijah, that
I had to snap this picture
before he could protest.
